Are men Really Sensitive
Mood:  chillin'
Sounds weird, women are mushy; they cry in movies, they feel a lot and are emotional. So do men though they have different forms of expression but they are all the same. It’s basically a gimmick to get TLC (tender loving care) and some cases are genuine. They’ll say I have a throbbing headache... (Its always throbbing remember never a mild one) they are never tense but their tummy hurts a lot today.
If they are quiet they will not tell you why , and if god forbid u don’t ask whets wrong then u don’t care , and if u do they’ll ask u to leave them alone so it’s a pretty much no win situation. Yes another thing if u don’t persist and keep asking that bothers them too. Men need more reassurances than women any day.
At one point in life they all go through the lack of self esteem bit, of course later they will never admit it but it always starts with “you know I don’t believe imp so lucky, you’re too good to be true” or in some form or the other which means the same thing like I don’t really deserve you, u can find a better guy than me.

In no way are men actors, but this is their way of saying “Please continue being with me and loving me as well as understanding me”. Some men have a way with words they tend to speak the right thing at the right time and yet fail to deliver. Some speak too much and I feel this is their way of making sure he’s told you just about everything about him, makes him feel doubly sure. The third kind are the most complicated ones...you will never get to know whats on their minds , they are quiet, they never volunteer any un asked information, and till the last min u don’t know whats on their mind. They I feel are the worst of the lot you can come across. Yet we come across those kinds of husbands who are great in marriage.

They will laugh at you when you cry but they will have tears in their eyes when their own kid is in pain. Men don’t ever cease to amaze me. Just when you think he’s rough and tough guy, you’ll see him in his most manic depressive moment. I guess this is why it is widely said men can surprise you anywhere, anytime or all the time.
I guess all men look for support in some way or the other. I can very well understand the need for this emotional side as they are supposed to maintain a tough exterior at all times.

Its amazing how I’ve seen men pull out of those bad times and behave perfectly normal as if nothing had happened. They are the worst ones to make you pull out of your own misery...as those uninvited wisecracks are never welcome when a woman is upset yet we force a smile and that too cuz he’s being really sweet...poor fellow in such times are often caught wondering as why in the first place were u upset ?
So we all go hand in hand, handling these little misgivings time to time and yet love the man we live with believing again “it’s never their fault” quote Farhan Naqvi

The woman?Best friend
Mood:  mischievious
In a society like ours, where girls grew up with boys, co ed schools, colleges, work and parties have turned atleast one woman to be a guys best friend. Very few of these relationships have turned into marriage and the least successful ones.
I know its cheap to categorize women, im almost betraying my own kind but the sooner we face the truth the better.
In most cases none of these women best friends of guys have been on the good sides of of the guys mom and later wives as well.
Honest and Blunt ones
These are the ones who become one of the guys and reason with them. They’ll tell them on their faces what they did wrong. They’ll hate it when the guys girlfriend makes him go thru hell, but in the end of the day will forgive him thinking poor fool thinks he is in love but what can I say to him..let him learn thru his own mistakes.
Here’s My shoulder Kind
These are the worst ones, they are in love with the man, he’s attracted to someone else, she’ll never say it to him, she’ll wipe her tears,lend him a shoulder to cry on or rather bitch about the other woman, curse her in her heart but will definitely say I think u need to give her another chance.
The Advice Moms.
Now these are the criminals as I like to term them…they know everything about relationship sucsess although themselves have had failed ones as u see experience speaks..What ever u do how ever u do it its never gonna be right ..they are amazing at pointing out faults in everything. They are extremely dangerous cuz the guy is already so dependant on her that the poor girlfriends advice hardly matters. These kind of women will also try to talk to ur girl friends which is a total no no cuz women hate being told how to manage their relationships.
The Happy Go lucky ones
I actually feel sorry for them cuz end of the day its been maybe 10 years and you’ve never see either one of them cuz their hubby/ wife does not like so and so and is threatened by the other! But then the best friend is never bothered and she thinks fine we were good friends once, if his wife does not like me and keeps him happy why should I be in the middle of it anyways as I do still have a life of my own.
The Blamed
Guys are generally lazy and hate defining relationships specially with women. So even if it’s a good friend he wont bother explaining to his girlfriend and is absolutely content with the way things are and making the girl friend believe he’s some kinda of stud! Now when this lazy man ties the knot and it does’nt work out who’s to blame…The bestfriend ofcourse is an easy target , made the wife uncomfortable and insecure and then made her run away..I honestly wish life was that simple!
Im sure there are loads of other types too but sadly these are the only few I’ve come across. We all have a bit of these in ourselves too, so does that make us the worst or the best friend a guy can ever have.

Thoughts of a lifetime?..
Mood:  don't ask
Most people say that I have achieved a lot in life. But only I know I have done nothing. I have merely let life live me. I guess you only have to ready yourself, to allow things to happen to you as they should. The greatest favour we do to ourselves is to get out of our own way.

Everything has it’s time and place and each experience helps you evolve.

Why was I consumed by it,
Like a piece of wood is consumed by fire;
It filled me with a kind of passion
Like I've never known before.

I have often wondered at the snob geniuses who need to alone in order to creative.

A man tends to take a woman’s faithfulness for granted once it ceases to flatter him.

I feel its ridiculous trying to prove whose deeds are blacker.

By nature, we are all free spirit n souls, as people we get tied to emotions.

Devotion. It’s a strange form of energy like a wave inside you : it builds up slowly and reaches a peak, comes crashing down , leaving you helpless, weak.

If we really come in contact with ourselves we face god don’t we.

With all the pretences around, why is is it a natural rebound to be with someone honest, practical and simple.

Men bank upon their good looks, money and power. Yet remain complexed. Maybe it’s his ego which is the cause of all his failures. So he keeps up pretences.

There is a fine dividing line between sanity and insanity, and we walk the tight rope wondering which direction to go!

Is’nt logic such a small part of illogic. There are still so many things that cannot be proved.

What’s the point of being liberal when u cannot make the world a better place for the ones you care.

Life really gives you the upper cut sometimes…Its strange to think that all of us have to go through it someday.

Has life shown me it knows best?


There is no good and no bad . just human rules for human good in all . Nature has its own laws and I guess some of us are lucky to have found this secret.

In the process of growing up we let go off the bad memories and get on with living and healing. Some of them keep hurting a lifetime though.

Trading Traditions
Mood:  irritated
As time passes we come across a lot of new things. Some good some bad. I being a tradionalist in thought combined with loads of practicality have an opinion.
The concept of Godh Bharai has been replaced by baby showers today, or being totally eradicated in the name of religion today . Im no authority on religion here but I feel the godh bharai rasam spoke volumes more in order to welcome the unborn child then a baby shower can for us. The mother radiant , dressed up like a semi bride , seven married women putting sweets, dry fruit and flowers in her lap each representing a sign of good fortune.to come , the sounds of dholak and all those fascinating traditional folk songs was a lot more merrier than pink or blue balloons on the wall.
Baby showers are nice but no one remembers them after a while ..i guess all of them being alike ..plus ive yet to hear a family elder attending it ..So u’ve lost the blessing of elders, a few close friends gather and end up giving small gifts for the new arrival.
Why are we so influenced by other cultures…we die to follow them but actually fail miserably….I am too but I often end up questioning myself as well as I do to u today .
Another concept that’s recently come up are the bridal showers…or bachelorette parties. Of course only the elite get to indulge in this . A bridal shower is a evening thing only for girls, they all have to get a gift for the bride mostly naughty ones.
Conversations in such place often vary from bitching about one and another to lingerie, honeymoons and hubby talk. I’d any day not like to give out my personal intimate details to a group of women who can’t keep their gossip down for more than 24 hours max. I’m more content with having dholkis at my place filled with simple fun and laughter .
The bachelorette party on the other hand is another extreme on the basis of equality. In olden days, most wealthy feudal and royal families would have rat jagge a few months before the marriage including mujras, and qawwalis . These would take place on grand scale along with women also witnessing most of these events but of course in parda as were the norm of those days. Todays women are totally in control , they’ll cal a few gals , have loads of booze and even end up calling a male or female dancer while they throw money on them. None of the brides I know have even thought of admitting their pre wedding nite horror stories into ythier happily married lives. Then why the big fuss.
Are these really the values our so called cultured families have given us or is it just us out to destroy ourselves.
Even marriages today have become modern and impractical. In the good old days the brides were in mayun for at least 7 days, but today that is not possible as there are last min fittings or hundred details that have to be managed.this cuases a rift and u actually end up fighting with ur to be hubby over trivial matters. Most married people beging their lives with a patch up !
Yet I feel some of the stands today that we may take take in the name of being practical are fine like if a guy decides not to wear a sherwani on his wedding day its fine (specially if u know he’s never going to wear it again ever)why black mail him into it. If u want to have a joint reception ( specially if ure both working and paying for it ) whats the big deal.You can always call a few ten people for dinner and have the walima.
Lots of people are gradually becoming against the concept of mehndi’s. The same people will spend unnecessary money on foolish things like the wedding jora, jahez ke jorey, ect . But a mehndi is a hinduana rasam ..but if that’s what ure worried about day in and day out ure busy taking up lifestyles of others..even the holy prophet PBUH adopted loads of jewish customs after his migration to medina in order to maintain harmony and balance within the jews and muslims .. Like the salaam coming from the jewish shalom, the jews used to face Al Aqsa in Jerusalem and the muslims began to face the Kaaba in Makkah. So why cant we have some people enjoying their mehndis without others criticizing them hai un islamic and rest should feel free to do as they please .
Lets forget what is right and what is wrong religiously ..and lets decide if we are hurting, killing or betraying our religion by celebrating the old customs just for a smile and a lifetime of remembrance.

The idle mind
Mood:  energetic
Why does everybody have thier own theory about everything and also believe that thier truth is the only one that matters.

God is very much there and yet people believe they still have to go looking because the act of faith seems so simple to accept.

Madness is the inability to communicate your ideas.In some ways then we have all been mad !Life is hopeless generally yet we decieve ourselves saying what a great life

If life was really a circle , i think we've taken too many 360 degree turns already.

Its amazing how intuitive women are , we always know whats about to be said and yet hope he might say the opposite.

If the world and its life is really a transition why are we not ready to give up anything we desire knowing how were not going to get anything in the end. Its human and we end up calling animals savage!


In a world where everyone struggles to survive at whatever cost, how can we judge those who decide to die!

If everyone did anything they wanted without being critisized this place's name should be changed to a mental asylum

Real love does change with time and discovers new ways of expressing it self.

At times we all find everything so stupid that we end up accepting what life has naturally imposed on us.

We often overcome our minor defects by matters of great value

People react in unpredictable ways, they surround themselves with defensive walls pretending they dont care about anything.

Quarrels of silence!
Mood:  mischievious
Its amazing when married people fight, the whole scene changes. Before you are married, and u end up fighting both feel its thier rightful duty to stay up late , discuss ans sort out the problem. Once you are married you are rather well tuned into the problem and you know at the end of the day its sure to happen again and maybe at that time u might not react to it in the same way as you are now ..for the time being discussing it will lead to more accusations so its best left alone.
Well in my case , im wierd i can for go the biggest things and make a face about the smallest ones....My trick of the trade is silence. A maximum nod or a "hoon" might come out of this wretched tongue. Its funny to see my hubbytotally freak out at such moments and ends up asking the most absurd questions at these times . If ure about to go to bed , he ll ask "shall i close the light ?"duhh! has anyone willingly slept in a well lit room at night ever!
If its an argument over going to someplace ..hell endlessly keep on asking if he we have to go over and over again ..maybe thinking that on asking the 20th time we might not have to go eventually ..u see questions have never historically changed events!
The thing that bothers me for sure and ive asked a million other happily married women and they all say the same thing ..is the same man who could come out straight ask you anything under the blue sky before u got married why does he need to go thru a routine of silly questions, a good nights sleep (which kills me and i want to kill him for it )before he can gather the nerve to ask what the problem is?
Is it because we resemble the demon ..or a dragon who might blow out fire if angry . I guess for men then silence is a fear factor and since times unknown they have not been able to overcome this emotion.
Who knows one day ..all the married men will gather the courage to ask the big question the min they sense it !

Pre Marital Jitters
Mood:  chillin'
Everyone who's about to tie the knot has them, ofcourse some of themget hit by this notion after getting married too.
In my case , my poor hubby took me out to his fav restaurant for a last date a week before i got married , as a sweet gesture and i totally screwed it up by crying my heart out and telling him im sorry im not prepared for marriage. poor fellow put up with it all talked me into it and now we've been married good four years.
A friend has been getting pre marital jitters now for the past 6 years ..yup that how long the poor guy has been waiting . this year they have finally decided to get married . Everytime its the same excuse im not ready wait a while.
Men claim not to have any pre marital jitters but yes u will see them tense up at the words " countdown to freedom" ..and here i ask what freedom do they honestly have and what are they really giving up?.They still check out women on the sly like before , most who drink or smoked before marriag still continue to do so even after ..at times yes they hide and do it but they still do so.
If he used to hang out with the guys late that was cuz they never had anything better to do.
Obviously they are out of thier "check the gal out , date and dump " phase so why the fear of commitment .It may sound absurd but surely is true .
A friend of ours who's on countdown as my hubby puts it ..was over the other night all was fine till the golden words of " how many days to freedom was mentioned " His expression changed , he looked devastated .
I agree its a change cuz u've been dealing uptil now with the circumstances ( or the family members to put it kindly) you were born into but why not get into a commitment with the idea of a great relationship which might out live your life with ur parents or siblings.

Meeting the Ex!
Mood:  loud
In todays life theres hardly a man or a woman in the society we indulge in that do not have a past.Surely there are a few well hidden cases and a massive portrayal of double standards like "I was brought up in a very strict home" or "There was someone but dont tell my hubby/ wife about it ".
I guess in a majority this upper strata that we belong to ...in most cases the woman has been dumped either for another woman or under family pressure.
Many of my friends , first reaction to seeing thier ex alone somewhere has been to hide or run. If a man has already dumped you why are you scared of facing him now, on the other hand if an ex is seen with another woman they get tough and make sure to atleast walk by them ..i guess its a reminder to say see what u lost!
The question remains why? even if this man came back begging on his knees you'd never take him.
Here are some of the first hand hilarious scenarios...A friend ran at full speed in a wedding ..full gharara and heels , got her heel stuck tripped and was the centre of attention except the ex chose to ignore the stranger.Another woman smoked away more than half a packet of cigrettes in anticipation of the ex arrival not even knowing that he was out of town.
I really admire men ...how they kep their calm and cool in such situations, they'll behave totally in composure but dwill pass a glanceonce or twice in an ordinary coy manner.
Recently i witnessed a couple..with thier respective spouses ( they were intensely involved and broke up out of the blue)they have to meet off and on thanks to common group of friends. The hilarious bit is that now both thier husband and the wife talk and joke around a great deal with each other but those two choose to ignore each others existance completely.
A divorcee i know has gone to the extent of designing her ex hubby's second wedding bridal jora and actually organizing it as well as dancing on it as well.
Why are these 21st centuary women still scared to face the ex!and begin to behave as if they've lost all control over thier lives..remebering that love which flew out of the window on the basis of ma ko nahin pasand or a new hot chick!

Stray thoughts of mine!
Mood:  cheeky
A woman can never really love until she has that choice from a place where she did not really need a man.
Only once if you'd live alone then you've been independant and if u have'nt been independant then u've lived half a life!
Society needs a re adjustment. They should solely judge me for what i was and am today not for what i am to others.
Men control women because they control thier finances..
The more assests you have on your side the easier it is to overcome those odds as a woman.
My choices in life are mine, it has nothing to do with anybody else. I think if you let what other people think of you get in the way, you shall be pulled down.
A relationship has to be at the right time, with the right person so that it becomes a valuable addition to your life.Few get lucky!
The truth is that a home runs as long as the woman is willing to put up with a guy doing his own thing, the relationship is great? But does it continue...ive always belieeved that even the truth has two sides like a good marriage does.
People who judge others are actually miserable in thier own lives. Angry , bitter and cannot stand to see someone else dare to stand up and say "i dont agree"
Its not fair just because a woman has discovered her gifts and knows how to use them directly or cleverly for that matter . we judge her!
I've spent a large part of my life trying to be someone i was not.but then i realized its so much easier to tell the truth and just be yourself!
Id like to see myself as someone whos lived her life to the fullest , with no regrets a few mistakes and not being ashamed of seeing the mirror!
Are'nt we a society that loves to put labels on everyone and everything that we cant understand or beat.

Silent Thoughts
Mood:  don't ask
My family , my hubby and a few of my friends can see thru me. Im sure they'd figure out who i really am by reading ahead.
Education or good schooling is not important only for the knowledge imparted but for the foundation of dicipline , right and wrong and truth & lie that influence our decisions in later life. You can always tell an educated from the decisions he takes at the turning points in thier lives.
It's magical how when everything is lost there is still so much left to bond with....
Why put Unrealistic pressures on one when they cannot live upto it as passions often change with seasons.
Love is a mystery and the deprived chase it like a mirage and at the end of your life remains devoid of dreams.